Flirting in the 5 – 7 – 5

Michael James shares his Las Vegas Haiku

I am a nice guy
Something happened in April
Haiku to describe

After Grand Canyon
Playing VP at Boar’s Head
(Main Street Station, duh)

I had five scratch-offs
Given for a four-bagger
Two were worth three bucks

Was I successful?
Was a bit down at the time
Where was my Royal?

My wife came by me
“I’ll play next to you”, she said
Was she a cooler?

She slid her TITO
In the machine next to mine
She didn’t start yet

She resumed speaking,
“But I will use the loo, first”
She does wash her hands

So I kept playing
While my wife was indisposed
What else would I do?

“Looks like you’re ahead”
An unfamiliar voice
Time to turn around

I said “Down a touch”
To the stranger behind me
A purple T-shirt

‘Twas a she-person
Middle aged, just like I am
Just like my wife, too.

She sat next to me
A non-wife VP player
A purple T-shirt

In the slot, she tried
Then I noticed which machine
My wife had claimed it

Oh, dear. What to do?
My wife pees pretty quickly
She would be back soon

“That’s my wife’s machine”
I blurted without thinking
Too dumb to notice

Purple T-shirt said,
“OK, I will move down some”
Whew, dodged a bullet

I played a few hands
It hit like a thunderbolt
What had I just done?

I looked up again
Purple T-shirt was long gone
And my wife was back

The purple T-shirt
First woman to make a pass
In 49 years

I do love my wife
And my diet clearly worked
Women want me now.

So let’s be honest
I love my wife to pieces
But purple T-shirt

Flattered a bit, sure
I had more beer and played more
VP at Boar’s Head

Then I got hungry
Oxtail soup at Market Street!
What purple T-shirt?

[Photo: Michael James]

Michael James

Michael James is a true Vegas Nerd. First falling in love after hearing details of an aunt’s visit in the ’70s, and nurtured when the gambling bug hit as casinos started opening on every street corner across the country in the ’90s. When not reading Vegas blogs and message boards, he’s a metals buyer by day and a competitive bowler by night in Milwaukee.