Vegas Life Hack: Attractions Worth Your Time – Part 1

Kelly Lamrock shares some Vegas Attractions that are actually worth it…

There are certain activities that are quintessentially Vegas. Gambling at the tables, taking in a show, and downing boozy comestibles are all activities that form part of our mental highlight reel of the city we love.

That said, there are days to fill in even the most debauched Vegas trip, and absent an iron stomach and/or a run of great luck, you can’t drink and gamble every minute between shows. This is where attractions come in. Casinos love to monetize space and draw in potential gamblers, and sometimes these are done with exhibits and attractions that promise an experience you can’t get at home.

The reason that attractions are a Vegas life hack for me is that they can fill a late morning or slow afternoon with something a bit less expensive. I say less expensive because, while the admission fees aren’t negligible, attractions offer a few hours without $14 cocktails or $15 blackjack pulling you in as they might by the pool. If you avoid the souvenir stands and hunt for discounts, you can have a Vegas experience worth talking about without breaking the bank.

Like shows and restaurants, Vegas attractions are always subject to change. In the last five years, we’ve said goodbye to attractions that were kind of awesome (Goretorium), free (MGM’s lions) and incredibly stupid but free (whatever the Sirens of TI was). However, there remain some activities that offer their own unique footprint on your Vegas trip.

So, having been a few times recently with Vegas first-timers and with a family of teenagers, I thought I’d share with you some ideas. In this first part, we will look at the MGM resorts. Ratings will be offered on a scale of one to five tourist traps, five being the highest.

The South Strip is where we find a cluster of MGM resorts, and they have a pretty good cross-promotion. You can pick up three attraction tickets for $57, which is under $20 each. It’s worth checking out the box office prices first, as depending on the age of your group you may do better with a couple of these as stand-alones. However, for the pricier ones, $19 each is a discount and a good value. Our gang has now done the circuit and here’s what we can tell you.

Mandalay Bay – The Shark Reef Aquarium. Keeping with the tropical island motif of Mandalay Bay, the Shark Reef offers an up-close look at all kinds of tropical fish, other small sea creatures, and a pretty good array of sharks (including hammerheads, the funniest shark). It’s easily walkable for small kids, cool inside when you need a break, and surprisingly-well detailed in the educational component. The notes and facts nearby are quite thorough, and it comes off as a smaller-but-worthy version of urban aquariums such as Boston’s. You can easily pass a couple of hours here, and at your own pace depending on your energy and desire for details.

Biggest strength: Sharks!!!!…and the interactive pond where you can pet the slimy creatures

Biggest weakness: A bit staid and school field trippy, if that seems un-Vegasy to you.

Rating: 4 out of 5 tourist traps

Luxor – Bodies. The Bodies exhibit finds an endless number of ways to display the human body, thanks to a scientific process that allows the body to be lacquered while preserving every detail of the muscles, bones, and flesh that lies beneath the skin. Not merely skeletons, these bodies have the muscle and cartilage that lets you truly see the body in motion. In addition to bodies posed in certain action shots, there are sections that focus on particular organs, bodies dissected in cross sections that offer unusual views of our inner machines, and some sections on disease that will ruin any plans you had for smoking, drinking, and unprotected sex with strangers. There’s now a competing “Real Bodies” exhibit at Bally’s, but I won’t bother. It just seems like seeing the movie “Another Stakeout” after you’ve seen “Stakeout” – how much more can there be to say here?

Strength: You don’t see this stuff at home. Teenagers seem to love it.

Weakness: Creepy as f%$k

Rating: 3 out of 5 tourist traps

Luxor – Titanic. Confession – I didn’t see the movie. I don’t get the fascination with the tragedy. I expected to hate, hate, hate this exhibit. And I did not hate it. While I can’t be as into shipwreck minutiae as some, this exhibit does a nice job bringing together artifacts and recreations to let you see how luxury looked a century ago. From the menus to the dishes to the furnishings, Titanic recreates the promise of the doomed ship and the luxury and innovation that drove it. I enjoyed seeing the differences from coach class to first class and imagining the onboard pleasures visible in the library and staircase and even the warnings of card sharks and hustlers. One moment is very well done – the transition from viewing the first-class stateroom to a recreation of the Titanic ocean deck, with an ocean breeze and sound effects added. The peacefulness of the deck and luxury of the ship gives way to blackness and an S.O.S. call in a way that lets you feel how disconcerting it must have been to go from a moment of serenity to unthinkable disaster that night. If I liked this, those who can’t get enough of the story would be thrilled.

Strength: Covers the emotion of the event while being respectful to the people whose story this is.

Weakness: You know how it ends.

Rating: 4 out of 5 tourist traps
MGM Grand – The CSI Experience. Second confession – I kept wanting to make like David Caruso in CSI:Miami and, upon leaving each room of this exhibit, lower my sunglasses and say something insipidly obvious, like “You don’t have a head, you’re probably not gonna live long.” That temptation aside, fans of the CBS suite of procedurals will likely enjoy this. The crime scenes you get to review are detailed and well-crafted, and the “labs” you work in have enough detail and video cameos from stars of the shows to offer a real escape. The puzzles themselves offer an interesting explanation of how crime labs work with a puzzle or challenge that is pretty easy, but adds up to a fun romp through the experience. There are three different crimes. One per trip is likely fine given how easy the brain teasers are, but it means you can keep coming back. The CBS Store across the hall has memorabilia from other shows too, though most of it says either “Bazinga!” or “Soft Kitty.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Strength: Lovingly recreates the show for fans.

Weakness: The photo opportunity after is cheesy and completely discordant with the show. Keep walking and avoid.

Rating: 3.5 tourist traps out of 5

The Mirage — Sigfried and Roy’s Dolphin Habitat. Do you like looking at dolphins? And tigers? How much? There’s little value added here, but there is indeed a pool of dolphins you can see from above and below. And there is a caged area with tigers and a few other big cats. If you wanted that to be a surprise, I’m sorry I ruined it for you, because there’s far less science, little of the performers’ story, and little presentation here. If the name of the place doesn’t have you tingling with anticipation, there won’t be much else.

Strength: Everyone likes dolphins.

Weakness: Dolphins can only do so much.

Rating: 2 tourist traps out of 5

Bellagio – Gallery of Fine Art. I thought this would be far more perfunctory. It was a great afternoon. The rotating exhibits are truly gallery quality. When we came last, there were thoughtful notes about how art reflected the rural-urban divide in renaissance Europe. This divide did not manifest itself in a bitter election between a distant queen who used an unauthorized private carrier pigeon and a vulgar talking yam, but instead through hundred works which showed us how the city and the country were reflected through the eyes of artists displaced and domiciled. There were artists everyone knows, such as Picasso and Van Gogh, some interesting clusters of works that allowed me to discover some new artists, and an interesting collection of humorous political art from the era. There was real thought behind the commentary and the collection. Like any collection here, you have to start by evaluating if the subject matter is your thing, and if you’re yawning at this paragraph, fair enough. But I am a casual art lover at best, and I found it a great value. Follow it up with some gelato and a stroll of the grounds and you’ll feel like the classiest folks in Vegas – at least until you reach the $1 Michelobs. I might have done that next.

Strength: Fits the resort theme really well.

Weakness: Your children may begin to squirm, whine, and recreate Lord of the Flies in protest

Rating: 4.5 tourist traps out of 5

[Photos: Michael and Angie Movestro, MGM Resorts International, Luxor, Mandalay Bay]

Kelly Lamrock

Kelly Lamrock didn’t see Vegas until he was 40. Now, he goes several times a year. When home in Atlantic Canada, he’s a lawyer, international consultant, and former Attorney-General. When in Vegas, he is consumed by the search for the best craft beer, the perfect sportsbook, and a post-show cigar. He loves Vegas because, as Jerry Seinfeld says, “wherever you’re from, Vegas is pretty much the opposite of that.”