Blonde4ever’s “What NOT to do in Vegas” List


Blonde4ever shares her list of “Vegas Don’ts”

I am a Mom; issuing edicts and warnings is what we do. So here are a bunch of “Mom warnings” to take heed of before you venture off to Vegas, a list of Vegas Don’ts.

1. For heaven’s sake, do not buy cute new shoes and bring them to wear in Vegas. You will be crippled and bloody in mere hours. Bring your oldest, most comfortable pair of shoes instead. No one is looking at your feet.

2. Don’t underestimate the distance between places. Yes, you can see hundreds of signs out of your window, and they don’t look THAT far away, but they are. They are far, far away. You will curse yourself for attempting to walk to them; especially if it is summer time and you are dying of dehydration after three steps. Just take an Uber or a Lyft and get there quickly and painlessly.

3. Don’t drink yourself into a stupor. Yes, drinking is fun, but you want to be able to remember your trip don’t you? If your defenses are down all manner of nasty things might happen to you. Also never leave your drink unattended. Have fun, but keep your wits about you at all times. There is no shortage of people who would like to take advantage of you in your inebriated state. And don’t gamble while drunk, that is, unless you want to lose all your money in an hour.

4. Don’t lose all your money in an hour. You have to exhibit restraint. Your money has to last through your entire trip. No one wants to sit in their hotel room watching TV and eating crackers. Budget! And should you actually have some money, be discreet, don’t flash it around or you might as well put a giant sign on your back saying “ROB ME!”.

5. Don’t forget that the hotel will put a hold on your credit card. Make sure you have access to enough backup funds to last your whole trip. Which brings to mind number 6…

6. Don’t be that person who has to borrow from their friends.

7. Don’t forget to take a picture of your room number with your phone, just in case the amazing-ness of Vegas wipes everything else from your mind.

8. Don’t get burned to a crisp. The Vegas sun will do a number on your skin. Lobsters aren’t cute, so don’t become one.

9. Don’t forget to pack your drugstore. No, not a literal drugstore, but your regular meds and certain things such as anti-nausea and anti-diarrhea medicine. Those things have saved my ass (literally) more than once.

10. Don’t call the numbers on the porn slapper cards. Do you really think that gorgeous young lady will show up at your door? The person that shows up will not even vaguely resemble her, plus the price listed is just for someone showing up, not for any “activities.” I would skip this altogether unless you want to bring home more than you bargained for (your mileage may vary).

11. Don’t stop and talk to the timeshare people, or the CD people or any other kind of people that seem to be stringing a line of BS, because that is exactly what it is. Don’t waste valuable Vegas-time listening to it.

12. Don’t forget to tip. Vegas runs on tips. You will get a better seat, a better table, and better service if you tip.

13. Don’t wander too far out of the major tourist areas. (i.e., the Strip and under the canopy downtown). There is safety in numbers.

14. Don’t run yourself ragged. You can’t see everything in one trip so don’t try. Remember this is a vacation so relax, sleep, chill. It will all still be here the next time you visit. (Or most of it will)

I could go on indefinitely, but you probably stopped paying attention ten rules ago, much like my children.

Enjoy, but be safe.

[Photos: Michael Movestro]

56 thoughts on “Blonde4ever’s “What NOT to do in Vegas” List

  1. #1 is the best tip ever. I had bloody feet almost every time I went to Vegas, can’t resist buying new sneakers at the outlets and wearing them right away. But I also learned that the blister bandaids in the US are AMAZING. If you have blisters from waling around in your new shoes too much – go to the next Wallgreens or CVS and buy that stuff, saved me from being stranded in my hotelroom last time.

  2. Thank you for the fun (and true) read. #7 is a great idea as I have myself tried to get in the wrong room because I had the numbers transposed in my head! Also, much truth to #10 (even though I do not know this via personal experience…)

  3. I would add to avoid buying anything inside the Casinos (beer, medicines, souvenirs, etc.) as it is very expensive.

  4. No matter how many times we visit- it’s always good to be reminded of somethings!! Shoes being very important!!! Thanks Blondie!! Great advice!!!

  5. Great advice Bonnie! After we’ve been there 10 times we all learn this stuff but sometimes we forget, Have a good time next trip!

  6. Great Advice Bonnie!!! I’ve been known to overpay for a pair of flip flops downtown when I just could not walk one more step! I not only grab a photo of my room number, but also which floor I park on if in a garage. I also do the take a photo thing when at amusement parks or shopping malls – each child is photographed in case of separation, we know exactly what they were wearing!

  7. Great advice! I also recommend bringing multiple pairs of comfy shoes and snapping pic of your rental car license plate. Everything tends to blend in Vegas in the best way

  8. I laughed out loud literally with rule #1. Don’t even get my husband started with that one

  9. As usual,a great list of helpful tips while you in Las vegas!
    I really like #7. I do that now,every time.
    Yes,the room numbers are NOT on your key card.
    Bring an EXTRA pair of sensible shoes,especially you are staying on the strip.
    Really nice just to change your shoes into different ones.

    One more tip:
    DO NOT jaywalk.
    Thanks,Bonnie.

  10. #7 is great! I have lost my room a time or two! That picture trick also works great when you park your car. Take a picture of the floor and section number.

  11. #13 is a bit outdated, as far as the canopy downtown goes. Fremont St now extends several blocks East and there is little, to no reason, to avoid it. Lots of nice bars and places to eat in the blocks between the Canopy and The Container Park.
    #7 is an outstanding suggestion. It’s so brilliant I’m surprised I didn’t think of it myself!

  12. Sounds like your experience with #10 might make for an interesting column idea Bonnie. lol

  13. Excellent points. Thank you so much for sharing. I go to Vegas a lot and I completely agree with every single point you listed!

  14. don’t go to far past the Cortez! Or more than a block north or south off Fremont!

  15. plenty of great advice. and it never hurts to repeat any of these. funny you should mention the shoes. just last night I was sorting through things at home getting ready for vegas I leave for vegas weds morning 03/29. I have tons of shoes still in the box and I wanted to take 2 new pair of sneakers. I finally settled on 2 pair and I wore each of them around the house for 2 hours. I think I am going to be ok, they were not too stiff to begin with. do you suppose either of them could bring me good luck?

  16. Hi, great list, only thing is,the Strip is only just over 4 miles from end to end, so nowhere is that far to walk, unless your health precludes strolling. Newcomers might get the notion that the hotels are all miles apart.

    1. I respectfully disagree. Sure, it’s only four miles. I once walked from Mandalay Bay to Paris in about 20 minutes at 7 AM, so it’s not a matter of just the miles. But those buildings are not as close as people think, and the “mirage” can affect you. Add in the walk from your hotel room, the walk around the casino, the bridges to cross the street, and suddenly you’re chalking up 35K steps on your Fitbit, logging in almost 16 miles (my daily best, though I routinely do about 29K in Vegas with bus/lyft action). I’m only 14 miles from Philly, but I’m sure that hike feels a lot longer.

  17. #2 bit me in the butt on my first trip. Just because you can SEE Treasure Island from the NYNY, doesn’t mean you should WALK there. I also use the Monorail if it makes sense. Like from MGM to Paris etc.

  18. Great read, as always!

    I wish I’d known rule#7 a decade or so ago at the Palms. Because I had a gross violation of rule#3, I emerged from the Ghost Bar not having the foggiest idea what room I was in, or for that matter even what tower I was in.

    I had to do the “walk of shame” to the front desk to ask them what room I was in…

  19. I can’t believe after 15 trips we never thought to take a picture of the room number and I’m amazed that we’ve never forgot it from all the excitement that comes with Las Vegas. To add to the drugstore, we bring toilet paper for our room cause we aren’t used to all the delicious food for days on end and Vegas toilet paper does some other awful things. You get the picture! Love your posts!

  20. I completely agree with #2. After my first few trips to Vegas I learned not to be too ambitious about trying to walk between Point A and Point B and to always keep in mind that once I get to Point B, I usually have to walk BACK to Point A eventually. Regarding #10, I have a friend who is a professional model that lives in Vegas who told me that her picture has appeared on some of those porn slapper cards. She told me about having to explain to her family and friends that she is NOT an escort, but that her photos were used on some of them without her knowledge or consent!

    1. For many years I tried to walk and bus everywhere but as I have aged I just said “No More! I am doing things the easy way from now on!”

      That is awful about your friend…omg!

  21. Great advice, Blonde, and I can attest to the fact that you follow MOST of these yourself. ;-)

  22. Might I add…
    • Don’t place your room key with money in your magnetic money clip. It’s embarrassing going to the front desk with no ID as my key got erased.
    • Don’t forget to take photos of your rental car to notate damage prior to leaving the facility. This saved me a charge once for a dent that did NOT occur on my watch! (Also, as Janet Tiffany said, get a photo of your license plate!)
    • Don’t forget to take a photo of where you parked your personal car at your departing airport. I once spent a LONG time walking around the parking lot after returning exhausted from Las Vegas.
    • Don’t forget to slather on the sunscreen. This is especially true for pasty old white boys like me.

  23. Great advice. I love #7. I have done that in parking garages but never thought to do it with my room number. Walking is great if the weather is right and you have a good pair of shoes and you have no real timetable or destination. It’s fun to just stroll. I can’t do so much of that at the moment but it is fun. Thanks!!

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